Book Review: Love, Peace and Happiness: What more can you want?

Love, Peace and Happiness: What more can you want? by Rituraj Verma
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book has been a welcome surprise. I received this book from the author Rituraj for a review and hence got a chance to read it. The cover is nice and bright, the title of the book seemed very flat to me and so i was a little apprehensive of what would come my way. The book apart from the cover has a very text book quality of printing. Also the author's introduction seems too contrived and typical - IIT, MBA types who dabble into writing but The Forward by Smriti Verma - Author's wife i think perfectly sets the tone of the book and gets you right into it.

This book is a collection of 9 short stories touching various personality types, relationships but the sense i got over all was that it dealt with today's Urban population, the trials and tribulations they go through, the race and chase for success and material achievement but somewhere lost in the madness and continuously trying to understand where they stand as people in life, in relationships. The Intolerance, the impatience and the constant search. While the urban population always seems to be in the right place trying to achieve the right things but do they really? That's where the Love, Peace and Happiness struggle comes out of.

The author mentions that there will be stories which might sound like your own or someone else's you know and i would agree to him to some extent as there are moments, situations that most of us would definitely relate to at some level. The language is simple and everyday and Rituraj has weaved in a lot of technology in his stories like facebook, smartphones, etc which give the characters a very today feel.

My favourite story has to be A HIGH, LIKE HEAVEN. It's the first story in the book and it's about a relatively newly married couple, a journey they undertake that unravels their true selves to each other, and though for some it might be a sad ending but to me was a perfect one.Apart from that my other favourites were THE PRACTITIONER OF AUSTERITY, THE INTIMACY OF SPACE and THE VICTIM OF MANY LOVES. The best part of this book is that none of the characters are perfect and that makes the stories and its characters so every day and real.

Also an interesting first time with this book would have to be the alternate endings bit, one that pleases everyone. For me, i liked the endings of all the stories as is and didn't really like any of the alternate endings because most of them seemed a bit forced, just to come up with optional endings. But for those who didn't like the endings The author also gives you an option of suggesting an alternate ending to the stories on his website (http://www.riturajverma.com/) and if the ending is liked then it will be printed in the next print run with acknowledgements. It's an interesting way to hook people on.

This book is a good first attempt and barring few issues about the writing which at times does really seem forced and contrived, i do feel it's one of the better work compared to a lot of trash that gets published these days. This would definitely be on my recommendation list.

The Job Interview Circus

So i have been through a few of those interviews in my 5 year career in advertising. There are various kinds of smart(ass) people you will meet in these interviews - It's amazing how taking interview is as much about skills as is your job itself. And many take this so seriously that it becomes like an exam rather than a conversation. In most cases the result of these examiners hiring ends up being disastrous as they are more concerned about how they come across to the interviewee rather then the interviewee having to prove any point to them.

A friend has been going through her interview rigors after a 2 year post marriage hiatus and every day conversations with her led to this post as it got me thinking about the variety of people i have met during my own course of job hunts.

Here are a few off my head -

• The strict school teacher - The kinds who think the only way to take interviews is by being a strict no nonsense kind of person. Straight face, no smiles and lets begin with tell me something about you. And once you start rattling like a school child they start counter questioning you about your own self like they know you better than you do yourself. But don't you think? But why would you? The questions always start with a BUT. You are so tired by the end of it after fielding all the buts and if's that you just want the bell to ring so you can run out of the class. The pressure test they say it is, but is it, i wonder how the real work life has got anything to do with making people feel nervous. and how many such pressures would actually pop up in your face while working. Yes, though it might be a warning bell clearly stating what lies ahead of the interviewee, a working style that would entail questioning as the operative word in future and not solution providing.

• The intimidating personality type  - The one who walks into the room thinking i need this person to shit in his pants the moment he sees me. I need to come across as THE boss, the supreme power who knows it all and that he cannot fool me. Now the lighter side of the story with this person is that, many a times they don't really know where they stand maybe and they think the best way to get the other person to start on a back foot is by looking intimidating. Asking questions which you do not know answers to yourself but how will this inexperienced fellow know? Setting the rules at the outset so one knows that one is dealing with a big EGO here and should be careful about what comes out of their mouth.

• The conversationalist - far and few are such people found, but those are the ones to look forward to. At the outset giving you a clear indication about chatting and not questioning. Could relax you to open up. Be honest with your experience, hopes and aspirations. About what you could bring to the table and what you would expect the interviewer to bring to the table in future. Be who you are and therefore probably give a clearer indication of what you would be like at work as the pretense that one as to put in order to be a certain kind to be liked rather than be himself or herself and be liked can  create the wrong perceptions and judgments in either parties. The future in most cases then turns bleak as what you expect is not what you get finally. A conversationalist can chat, and understand what the person is like and therefore be better able to judge capabilities, experience and knowledge.

I have met more number of first two types than the last ones. But the last ones have been the more lasting mentors. Each experience does teach you to hone your skills as you cannot choose who you shall meet. But obviously do wish that every boss out there would get the simple logic of friendly conversations over me against you conversations as that is bound to have a sure shot enemy even before you have begun unless you strike lucky. Unfortunately it trickles top downwards and so most juniors learn these interviewing skills by watching their bosses. There is a better team formed when the entire team knows that they can all fall back on each other without thinking twice and that comes with the confidence imbibed in the team by the senior leaders. The starting point to all of that is the job interview itself.

Do add your own list of people and experiences if any beyond my own set of typecast :) it would be fun to know.

Image Courtesy: Google 

The Olympic Mania 2012

Has it gripped me or what? days on end i have been watching Olympics on TV. The passion that these sports stars have is infectious. The passion with which they fight to get their medals and represent the country is amazing. Having been a Badminton player in the past, the game had me hooked till it got over yesterday.. The Chinese domination in the game, the determination the Chinese have, just makes the sport so enjoyable. Every final was every bit worth watching. Nail biting end to the finale in all categories of badminton. Swimming, Tennis, Athletics - Usain Bolt, Yohan Blake what a 100 mt finale that was. Thanks to Indian shooters reaching the finals happened to watch that as well. All in all it has been a welcome change from the cricketing national obsession to watch other sports and watch people from all over the world wildly trying to create a place for themselves in history.

Indians this time have done decently well, whatever little there has been. I wouldn't want to be sarcastic about our performance. Yes it is a little shameful that being the second most populated country in the world we can count our medals down to 3 as of now and most of it in the lower side of the colour palette. But having said that, it's also to be noted that with the non existent government funding of sportsman in this country and with minimal training facilities, it is only the passion of these few sports men and women that would have taken them where they have. We have a long way to go before we become China or USA, with hoards and hoards of good quality sportsman participating in the Olympics and them having that much passion for representing the country. The passion that flows out from us during a IND vs PAK match is what  needs to flow out of us for many other sports as well. Instead of suddenly realizing the existence of these sportsmen who do well and exerting excessive expectations on them hence forth, maybe we should realise that we have to only help hone their skills further and ensure proper training for them so that they can live up to our expectations going forward.

In such difficult and unsupportive circumstances we should laud our sportsman who have managed to at least reach somewhere and get our countries name somewhere and hope that our corrupt nation realises the strength of such a large population and what these sportsman can do to place our country on the global map.

Circle of life

We come, we go,
We stay, we don't,
We love, we hate,
We cherish, we forget,
Time, there is and then there
is none.
So slow, so fast,
So now, so never,
Look back, look ahead,
Maybe sometimes, maybe forever.
You wish for no change,
You wish that much more for change.
You hope for better days than today,
Today becomes your best day.
You miss everything and everything misses you,
You miss nothing and nothing misses you.
Such is the Circle of Life.
You try to keep pace with it,
It tries to keep pace with you.

Lucknow Boy: A Memoir by Vinod Mehta

Lucknow Boy: A Memoir by Vinod Mehta
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A very readable book. I picked it up after reading many a reviews. I have not really been an Outlook reader and so was not very aware of Vinod Mehta and his style of journalism. This book got me hooked from page 1. The good thing about the book is that it is a very easy read. it's not full of jargon and Vinod Mehta doesn't come across as self righteous and self appreciative, at least not overtly.


The initial years he recounts about Lucknow, family and his student days are quiet interesting and fun to read. once he starts working, i think the book skews more towards opening many a secrets about people he has interacted with professionally. Then it starts sounding like a gossip column, nonetheless quiet informative. halfway through i felt, it was not a memoir anymore as there was nothing much personal other than professional events and professional encounters that he narrates. He moves from Mumbai to Delhi from His Debonair days to Pioneer and Outlook. He seems more human or maybe on second thoughts, he is a very good journalist who knows exactly how to get people to accept his point of view without hating him.


While the book has lots of anecdotes to offer, the one thing that kept gnawing me, particularly when i was reading his time with Outlook days was his anti BJP and pro congress stand. While he justifies it by saying that even though people call him Sonia sucker, as a journalist you can't hate every politician. That's in order to stay sane. Hence Sonia Gandhi and Congress are his obvious choice. Where i think its a biased layout is when all his anecdotes and stories throughout his Outlook and Delhi experience are pretty much about the NDA government. Considering he is a dinosaur in the Journalism business and has seen decades of politically upheaval, he chooses to comment only on the the few initial years of the Nehru government and straight out to the NDA government. That to me is a little short cited for a memoir of a journalist. Also the entire account about the Income Tax raids on Raheja, his proprietor for Outlook is a bit too good to be true. Raheja being an owner of such a big business empire seems to be pure as honey and seems to have absolutely no illegal income. Which to me seems a little far fetched for a business house that size.


so my final verdict by the time i finished the book was take this man with a pinch of salt. He obviously does not tell all the truth and chooses which one to. But whatever little he does tell is worth reading as it does give you some perspective about people and events.


View all my reviews

The Indian Honeymoon Abroad

Honeymoon for the new Indian marrying kinds have become an equally pressurizing prospect. Along with marriage now they also have the honeymoon to add to their ever increasing fears and budgets. Marriages are decided basis how much money there is to go for their honeymoon. 

The reason why I point this is out because there is an increasing pressure on couples today specially the urban youth to go abroad in their honeymoon. If you don't go abroad then people judge you in every way from your financial status to how uncool you could be because you didn't go abroad. It's become a given and so the couples also don't think beyond as honeymoon has started being defined as a trip abroad. Not sure where and when this pressure actually started popping in but now it seems like a very given trend. Tourism ads now target people with honeymoon travelling. While i have nothing against going abroad for your honeymoon but i do have a problem with the increasing mindset of honeymoon being equated with only travelling abroad. There are so many places in India that one can visit and have a superb trip but we seem to be undermining the capabilities of our very diverse country with being able to provide any form of respite to the honeymooning couples.

I remember when i was getting married people would ask me where am I going for honeymoon and when i would say North East India - the reactions would vary from WOW! that's different to why the hell would you travel within India? Honeymoon is your one chance to go abroad. It would amaze me, both the reactions. Why is it so difficult to think you can travel within the country and still have a great honeymoon. More than that why is it even wow and different? when did it become a given norm that you had to travel abroad. 

While we were also one of the couples who were under tremendous pressure of wanting to figure out a destination abroad, finally thanks to our parents suggestion decided on going to the North East. For me it was a nostalgia trip down childhood memory lane and for Russell it was a great experience in the pristine beauty of north east which he would have never taken out the time for otherwise. Meghalaya, Assam and Arunachal - a 15 day trip through mountains, jungles, snow, rain, winters - it was every bit worth it. And it also gave me an opportunity to show my husband where i grew up and get him face to face with every childhood memory of mine.

Our idea of honeymoon should be to create memories which will last us a lifetime, do things which would not please the world but would please us and maybe sometimes be a little different from the typical and run of the mill. After all its our honeymoon and not the world's honeymoon. 

Mixed marriages - the rising trend

This generation is increasingly opening up to mixed marriages parents including. Every second friend that i have is making their own choices about their partners and in 8 out of 10 cases it is people people from two different backgrounds coming together. While its not a new trend but i do feel the trend is getting an increasing acceptance.

There are more and more women working and going beyond the confines of just education and their houses therefore the chances of a couple meeting through friends, at work is a lot higher today than earlier. While there is an equal amount of arranged marriages still happening but even that has changed its basic face. My parents got married after proposals between families were exchanged and they had never even met each other till they got married. Nothing surprising i would say for their time but today even arranged marriages have become more of a way of getting help in finding a partner rather than the age old trend of families fixing up the marriage. Couples meet each other through family and then they do have a courtship period before they plunge into marriage. Also there is an increasing trend of mixed marriages even when they are arranged thanks to the various websites like Bharat matrimony, etc where parents are now looking more and more for suitable partners rather than base the decision on pure caste, creed, religion, etc.

These marriages do come with their bit of excitements and problems. Parents do go through their rigors of doubt and issues initially, most do come around and accept none the less. For others its a little long winding the whole convincing parents round. Mixed marriages brings the newness in a couples life where in they have a lot to explore from a different culture, region and sometimes even religion. While this is exciting it can also get taxing sometimes because two people from such different backgrounds do take time to adjust to the complete newness in everything from exploring new languages, food habits, lifestyle, culture and more.

Mixed marriages can also bring about a mixture of added expenditure or none. While some have double fold expenses because both the families would expect them to get married in 10 different ways in 10 different places. Some like me go through the quicker route of a simple court marriage (which by the way also helps you avoid the gazillion rituals, they actually make you question as to why are you even getting married in the first place to go through this torture). These marriages are increasingly opening the door for the next generation who would hopefully be brought up with a broader mind set and therefore be more tolerant.

A good mix of happiness and confusion.

walkathon

Walking around town is probably one of the best ways to truly get to know your city, its people and the varied images a city has to offer to you. But most of us end up being plain simple lazy and will almost always prefer a cab or auto for the shortest of the distances.

To me it always comes with great effort to be able to walk and so it also shows on my health :) Not that my husband is of any help either. We are made for each other when it comes to this one aspect. So it was a pleasant change last month while on our trip to Delhi when we chose walking, bus rides and Metro rides over cabs to travel from Noida to any place around.

Of course till last year the fact that Delhi's local transport is so sad didn't help in the matter and living in Noida with parents and travelling to other parts of Delhi would just seem like a Mount Everest climb. The metro has finally connected the NCR quiet well and so we took up to buses and Metro this winter to explore around the city. Bus rides to Dilli Haat, Metro Rides to Rajiv Chowk and each day with an agenda of walking around Rajiv Chounk became our game. We walked all around CP, walked through Janpath, India Gate, Jantar Mantar over days. Sitting in Central Park and enjoying the winter. It relaxed us, made us have more conversations, think more, observe more.

The trip was a welcome change from the monotony and made me realize how much have i been missing all this while in the name of comfort (an idea just in my head) and laziness.

Taxi drivers and their stories

For the past 10+ years Mumbai has been a city of discovery for me more than anything else. This city has so many different shades to it that it would take you forever to even get to understand or know all the shades. The variety of people, conversations, and the cities warmth towards strangers, all of these are part of this whole colour scheme.

The numerous rides that I have taken in the Mumbai cabs have also been an experience and adventure in its own sense. So I thought of accounting a few stories that come to my mind of the various cab drivers I have met in this journey and the aspects about this city these conversations highlight –

• The city of rise and fall – So I met this cabby once who got chatting with Russell (husband) and me. I don’t remember what started the conversation but it eventually led towards how educated both of us were and what we were doing currently. Having answered that the cabby told us that even he had studied till the age of 10 in Bombay Scottish (one of the premier schools in Mumbai) but due to unforeseen circumstances that his family had to go through he couldn’t continue any further. The name of Bombay Scottish got me inquisitive because the idea didn’t somehow fit in my head. So I asked further and so he started telling me as to how his family was originally from UP and that his father was a very well to do business man but their business partner ended up cheating his father and one fine day they were suddenly on the road and so they all went back to their hometown in UP and started from scratch. The reason therefore behind Bombay Scottish and then his current occupation of a cab driver. He further continued to harp on the importance of education and so what if he didn’t manage it in his life but he has ensured that both his son and daughter have gotten educated. His son was a practicing lawyer in UP now and his daughter was studying in Delhi University. The whole story somehow seemed to be straight out of a Bollywood movie but I believed him. We reached our destination and we bid farewell but the story stayed in my mind. Russell refused to believe him and maintained that he must just be making up stories but something about the cab driver made me want to believe his story. It only brought about the numerous Mumbai stories out yet again which wouldn’t cease to amaze you.

• 26/11, Islam and the wrath that Muslims had to suffer – This was about a month or so from the 26/11 attacks, again a cab ride home from work in the evening. A Muslim gentleman driving the cab. He got talking about the latest horror story of Mumbai the 26/11 attacks and how horrendous they were. About how it was so unfortunate that for some miscreants who in the name of god and religion slaughter people and an entire community or faith gets questioned. He told me unfortunately he felt victimized because of those people (terrorists). That people would always look at him suspiciously after the gruesome event because he wore the Muslim cap, wore a kurta and pyjama. He didn’t blame the public for treating him like that but the terrorists who had ensured that people would question him. He told me that even educated men and women would lose their head if it came to their lives and which god tells you to kill the very beings he has created. He told me that the terrorists killed more Muslims than any other community in VT station as it’s a more Muslim dominated area. The very people who fight for Islam kill their own people. Do they think people are stupid that they would buy their logic. He felt ashamed at the fact that few people had given such a bad name to his faith which never spoke about killing or against any other faith. His best friend was a waiter in Leopold café and was a victim of the terror attack that night. He said he was supporting his friends’ family now as they had no other earning member. He said he only wished that by having such conversations with educated people like me he would try and make the general public realize to not ostracize an entire community in the name of such acts as there was no difference between them and anyone else. We are all children of God.

• Girls, their short skirts and therefore the crime they invite – This by far remains one of the most shocking stories and conversations for me. I was returning home one of those late nights from office. And we cross Todi Mills. Young men and women were waiting to head home after Blue Frog shuts down. The taxi driver goes ‘Tch..Tch.. these rich girls. I don’t get why do they wear such clothes and walk around.’ Obviously making me question him instantly as to why would he say something like that. So he goes these things invite all sorts of crime and why don’t they understand its better to avoid bad things than invite them. So the argument continued and so he told me that he would tell me a story that he hasn’t told many people. Apparently one day he was driving late in the night and some drunken men stopped his cab to go to Malad. Mid way they saw a girl walking on the road. He said very decent girl in normal jeans and shirt but they were drunk and they asked me to stop the cab. He refused to stop the cab because he realized their intentions but they finally managed to force him to stop the cab as they were three and he was one and he said he got scared as they had a knife. They pulled the girl into the cab and in his words did very bad things to her. He said that he prayed that there would be a police check point on the way since it was a weekend and he could stop over there but unfortunately there was none and so once they were done they opened door and dumped the girl on the road. She was unconscious and lying on the road. He finally dropped them to Malad and rushed back to the place where they had dropped the girl. But she wasn’t there. He says he doesn’t know what happened to her and till date he wished he had more strength to stand for her and not get scared and selfish for his life and not let what happened happen. He would be guilt ridden all his life and could never forgive himself but only wished that god would someday give him an opportunity to redeem himself from this guilt. And so he concluded by saying so see this is why I felt the way I did when I saw those women in those clothes. I reached home and the argument now turned into a shocking story had to come to an end. I still think of that story and a shiver runs down my spine.

Many more such conversations have happened and continue to happen and it only makes me more aware of the world around me. The conversations range from rich vs poor, politics, education, environment to million other topics. It only helps to get a perspective beyond just yours and is also quiet an experience J

Of mothers and fathers

Mine has been a life of immense dependence upon these two people. Both have been my pillar of strength at every point in my life. Today I sit and I wonder what would life even be without them and it just seems like a blank page I cannot fill.

I have always had a very balanced relationship with both my parents never favouring one over the other. They both bring in my life a sense of balance in different ways. My mother is an epitome of grit, confidence, fighting spirit and maturity. My father is an epitome of love, of moving with times, of balance and of understanding. I don’t know what it is like to have parents who don’t understand.

With my mother I share everything on this planet, we giggle, we laugh, we gossip, we share stories, we fight and we say sorry and make up. It’s like having the best girl friend you could have. My father for me has always been the formidable picture of strength, whenever I am down and out in life and feel under confident about anything I write to him and he writes back with the most heartwarming words that give me another push to keep moving. While there are lots of things we joke about but somehow when it comes to serious things like sharing my heart out I am more comfortable mailing my father rather than talking to him. And we both somehow have realized that we express better in writing than while talking to each other. We also have been gaming partners and so as a kid whether it’s playing outside or playing board games at home he has been always around. After growing up the board games continued but we have added conversations about movies, more importantly sharing books with each other.

From childhood to now, every decision that I have taken has been welcomed by my parents in the most mature manner possible, so every choice that I have made has only taught me to gauge the right and the wrong in those decisions that I have taken enabling me to take better decisions the next time around. The various landmarks decisions of my life - 

• Moving to Bombay instead of Delhi for further studies,
• Not forcing me to live in the Girls Hostel in my college, instead going by my choice of living in a girls hostel which had girls from different colleges and streams in Mumbai as they felt that it would only help enhance my exposure rather than restrict me to one college one world.
• Taking up Arts as a stream of education in undergrad,
• Enrolling into MBA coaching classes and quitting them in a week after having realized that it wasn’t meant for me. The fact that my dad had paid 15000 bucks for me to enroll in these classes made me guilty but he ensured I didn’t pursue something I didn’t like just because he had spent so much. He told me ‘look at it this way – maybe all this money was required to be spent for you to realize this is not it, so what next figure that out’.
• Graduating and only being clear about the fact that I wanted to do Advertising and having applied to just one college XIC Mumbai. And if that didn’t work out then look for work and then do my post grad after some work ex. My parents only helped me to try and figure as many contacts they had sitting far away in the state of Assam so that in case the college didn’t work out then I had some entry points into the Media industry.
• The very first time I informed them about smoking, it went down very smoothly as both my parents said trying things don’t harm you as long as you realize that these are not habits you got to keep around yourself for too long. Of course they did not approve of the habit but they did not bring the roof down as they knew that doing that would only invite more rebellion or lies from me. So they’d rather know and guide me out of it than be completely clueless.
• Working in the organizations I wanted to, quitting when I didn’t feel it was right anymore never made them question my decisions. They would only ask me the reason why and leave it to me to figure the rest.
• Choosing the Boy I wanted to end up with. I still remember the first time I mailed my dad about Russell my husband; I had also attached a picture of him. Funny enough the query that came back from him was not about his family, background, education, religion, etc. but a one line that said ‘Oh so he wears glasses, God your kids are going to be blind at this rate’. It just completely busted all the nervousness I had about this whole thing and I then knew that it was upon me to embark on a journey of discovering the relationship and deciding for myself as to what it was going to be like for life.

These are few of the million instances in that they have surprised me in many ways. They have always made me understand the importance of the bond that a family needs to create in order to create a healthy environment and upbringing of children. Free to discuss, Free to Question, Free to learn and Free to challenge the norm has been the way as long as it only enhanced you as a person and taught you to face life with every determination you have in yourself. They have taught me that eventually when I reach a point in life where I have to carry their role forward with my kids, its more important to understand rather than influence, more important to let go rather than hang on, more important to keep moving rather than get stuck in time.

More than anything else they have made me the person I am today and they have only helped me face the world and life with utmost zest and without questioning the why’s and how’s instead taking all of it in my stride and only making the best of it.

Work Life Balance? What is that?

In the last few days i have had many a conversations with my friends about this very subject. Everybody seems to be in this questioning phase where they are not sure what they are doing with their lives. It seems like a JOB to go for their JOBS but its got to be done. Go to office come back home and the cycle continues. Weekend is the only time you have to yourself but there are so many things to do that it feels like Mondays are right after Fridays and there never was a Saturday and a Sunday.

What is it that makes us so full of our way of lives but it still keeps us going on with it? As far as Mumbai is concerned i also blame the way of life in the city that eventually takes a toll on you. Because there is so much opportunity available to us here we end up coming to this city and then this very opportunity makes sure we don't have an opportunity for anything else. Dreams turn into work place ambitions and nothing more. We are struggling to survive one day after the other. The city doesn't make it easier. Rents are sky high and so an average person would be living miles away from their work travelling everyday for hours and so by the end of the day is left with no more time than enough to probably watch TV and go off to sleep. Also because everything is so expensive you can barely afford any form of leisure like clubs and sports which in smaller towns and cities we take for granted. Therefore the idea of leisure is watching a movie, going out for dinners and sitting by the stinky seaside, the vast expanse of which only makes you feel more lost and gets you thinking. 'Change your lifestyle' is the first advice any doctor will give you in this city but how do you do that? while there are million books and people to advice you to go a certain way to change it all but the 24 hour day (more like 12 hours) seems to give you the ultimate test of will to even start somewhere. I don't say we can't do it. of course we can but the quality of life will always make you question every step in time and put you a step back as you tend to end up spending more time in thinking whys than doing the hows.

My decision to quit my job a few months back also came from a similar phase of questioning the purpose of life, finding time for myself, looking after my health which was as good as non existent. I wonder sometimes in the race of ambitions we forget our basic dreams, basic emotion of happiness, we feel loaded and it really does and will take a lot for each one of us to come out of it, be happy and still be doing our thing.

I am not sure about other cities as i can only talk from my experience of living in the city of dreams - Mumbai. Ironically the very dream one comes to this city with seems to fade away without the slightest hint of realization on their part. I know that this post seems a little on the negative side but honestly i am just writing this post as it has increasingly been a question in my mind.

Off late i have personally decided to try and increase my happiness quotient and that by just being happy, by not getting bothered and affected by way of life or what i have right now, it could probably make things a lot easier to deal with. While i have it and i am in it, the idea i feel should be to try and enjoy in whatever way you can because by cribbing about life we don't really change anything but only feel more and more miserable about everything about us and around us. Maybe something as small as using smilies :) could just help one change their mood :) and little more conversations with family and friends just helps you keep your calm and understand situations of life better.

The break i have taken has definitely helped in many ways, and i feel everyone should definitely make it a point to utilize all their leaves in a year (which a lot of people to my surprise don't) if not necessarily take a break from working all together. As any form of break only helps you relax and put a perspective to things and we can start afresh every time.

chickichik all the way - strictly for women

So last week i caught up with a list of movies... and like my post header suggests strictly chicky rom coms. The list as you can see above with the movie posters. So i will give a quick short review of each of these movies -

Bridesmaids - It's funny, it's typical but aren't all rom coms :) it's about two childhood best friends. one of them is getting married and so the other is asked to be her maid of honor and enter the bridesmaids and that's where it all begins. the maid of honor and one of the bridesmaids - the bride's fiances boss's wife..phew.. they start competing with each other as to who is the brides best friend. personal life disasters, joblessness, love found with a cop and finally it all ends with a perfect patch up between the two best friends. It always a happy ending but that's what makes it so exciting every time because we girls like to live in that perfectly romanticized world of ours. Touted as the Chick version of Hangover, i don't think it is anywhere close to that but its worth a watch anyway.

Crazy, Stupid, Love - I kept procrastinating on this one. In spite of hearing good things about this movie i somehow never felt like watching it all this while. Finally i did and it was quiet a fun watch. It's a Steve Carrell, Julianne Moore and hold your breath Ryan Gosling movie. Phew Ryan Gosling is hot or what. yes he is a bit too metro sexual for my liking in this movie specifically his styling and stuff but charming or what???? Mind blowing and hot. It's a typical Steve Carrell movie i feel, he is perfect in those losers gone wild kind of roles. But is a fun watch none the less.

Spread - Finally long pending, a 2009 movie, i had missed it when it had released. Ashton Kutcher movies - somehow i couldn't stand him earlier but over the years i have come to like most of his movies and therefore make it a point to watch all of it. Something about him is charming. Even though i think the movie does not have very great ratings and did not do too well but my friend Wittke had loved it and i knew it that if she liked it i would because our choices of romantic movies are just so similar and i wasn't disappointed. So well yes it was not the typical, everything is happy and gay at the end kind of a romantic flick but i really did like it only maybe because of the way it ended and because it wasn't after all so typical. All the way till the airport sequence it was perfectly in sync with any other rom com but then the last 10 minutes changed it all and it was superb.

Midnight in Paris - A Woody Allen movie, either you like his movies or you don't. and i love most of his movies except a few. And i love the way he makes you fall in love with various cities. In this one as is obvious from the title it's Paris. Oh how beautiful the city looks that you wish you were there that very moment. I loved the movie. Owen Wilson is fun as usual, i never mind a movie with him in it. Some how the concepts that Woody Allen comes up with are always interesting rather than the run on the mill stuff. This movie is about an engaged couple who have traveled to Paris and while they are there they discover the fact about their relationships. Both conceive a life different from the one they have together as better but they have been living in denial. From the start you figure somehow they just don't seem to fit well together but eventually figure where they stand in the relationship. It's a fun watch and i would not typically put this in chikichik only as this one has an appeal the men as well i think.

So well it was all in all a week well spent on some fun movies. Will definitely recommend catching up on all the above at some point.

Images courtesy: Google

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas - John Boyne

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was one book i picked up because i had seen the movie minus the end of the movie and i quiet liked the movie of whatever i had seen and wanted to know where it finally went.


The book ended up being a simple read. It's from Bruno's point of view, the child who is oblivious of holocaust and the fact that his father served the Fury (Hitler). He had his own point of view to everything happening around him. Not understanding the seriousness of what was going on around him, He was happy in his idea of the world being perfect. He had to move with his family to Poland due to an assignment his father was put onto and that's where he meets his new friend on the other side of the FENCE Shmuel. Bruno wants to become an explorer when he grows up and since in this new place he does not have much to explore within the house he ends up venturing outside and begins a journey with Shmuel. While Bruno is his age and is innocent and unaware of everything going around him, Shmuel is that much more grown up after having seen the various atrocities and life changing events as part of a Jewish Family. Ironically they both share the same date of birth but still aged so differently.


From then on the book is about their relationship, about things that Bruno discovers but never understands and somehow the way the book ended completely took me by surprise and since i had not seen the end of the movie i was no where near expecting it. it shocked me, made me sad and wished it would end some other way but in the end when i think about it I guess the story ended just perfectly right. Any more than this i would give away the story :)


The movie also ended up coming again on one of the English movie channels last week after i was done with the book and so it was perfect timing and i have managed to complete both the book and the movie perfectly in sync.

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Happy Diwali :)

I found this picture on my FB. Apparently an image released by NASA. This is how India looks at night on Diwali.. it looks so beautiful. So i thought i would share this and wish all of you a very very happy diwali. May this year be a happy and prosperous one for you and your family.

It was a perfect Diwali for me spent with parents here at Noida. Even though i did miss my husband in all of this but nonetheless spending diwali at home has its own joys. all the mithai and various pakwans you get to eat just makes it so much more happier :) some fuljharis, some anaars, Saree, some photographs - all in all the day has ended on a perfect note.

Surprisingly this Diwali at least in and around my colony seemed to have been a lot more calmer than the previous years. Very few people were bursting crackers, instead even boys who get the most excited about crackers were happy with their anaars, chakris and fuljharis. All the kids here apparently are getting immensely influenced by their teachers at school who are teaching them the ill effects of bursting crackers and other fireworks. Glad at least some good sense has prevailed into people specially kids.

On that note, enjoy the holiday season everyone. Lots of love to all.

Image courtesy: Facebook

The Dewarists - I'm in love

Finally there is some original content on TV to watch. Something beautiful and mesmerizing and breath taking.


What intrigued me first was the word Dewarist as i had never heard of this word. So what did it mean or was it a term used for a certain clan and after seeing the promos i really couldn't connect the word to the content and therefore had to look it up.


Dewars happens to be a Scottish Whiskey brand. The origin of the word comes from the movement Dewarism started by the company and subsequent campaign based on that movement. The meaning of the word Dewarism below - 


DEWARISM: noun (u) A social, political and economic doctrine, based on the writing of Tommy Dewar, expressing the conviction that the journey of life can be enjoyed without giving up on the achieving of success.

Sir Thomas Dewar, a famous whiskey distiller and philosopher, believed success in life could be obtained without arduous work, as described in his concept of Dewarism.

Source: Urban Dictionary

You can read further about Dewarism and Dewars on Wikipedia. 

So Hence from there comes The Dewarists - People who represent this philosophy. The Dewarists was a movement that began in late 2010 as stage performances and collaborations of artists who stood and reflected the philosophy of Dewarism. And finally was culminated into the TV series now on Star World. They have an extremely good lineup - Vishal Shekhar, Imogen Heap, Zeb & Haniya, Shantanu Moitra, Swanand Kirkire, Indian Ocean, Mohit Chauhan, Parikrama, Agnee and many more....

The first episode was shot in Rajasthan and with Vishal and Imogen Heap. To me that episode was all about sounds. Imogen's obsession with experimenting with anything that produces any sound to me was an interesting way of discovering music and if you listen to the song then you would notice the variety of sounds in the song. 

The second episode with Zeb and Haniya and Shantanu Moitra and Swanand Kirkire to me was more about lyrics, the mood and fusion of languages. It was beautiful. 

What i like about this series is that its absolutely original in every sense. original content which one dies for these days on Indian Television and original songs being produced in the short journey of collaboration between these artists. Its part biography part collaborative, the entire episode and therefore is informative as well as entertaining. Also it to me is serving the purpose of a travel show as well as each episode is being shot in a different cities and locations. The show represents the flavour of that city as well shows various moods, people, places of that city. I am completely in love with the way the episodes are shot. The DOP must be mind blowing because it just seems like an hour long display of amazing paintings, its so beautifully shot.  

The Dewarists has an amazing sense of freshness that is immensely appealing. 

If i had to compare other musical programmes to this, then this would definitely stand higher above MTV Coke Studios India and MTV Unplugged India ( Unplugged of course has a few episodes of certain artists which are very good no doubt). Coke Studio India to me was a disaster after being used to Coke Studio Pakistan. I felt that somewhere the commercial mixed with the original there and therefore the collaboration got highly diluted bringing about a sad output. Somewhere the pressure of being Coke Studios probably led to that as the artists were trying to hard to emulate the way it should be done rather than concentrating on being natural. The Dewarists in spite of having their bit of commercial artists in it as well seems to infuse the best in them. 

It is a must watch for all music lovers because its a different and fun journey you would be going on. The songs created on the series are available for download from the Dewarists website and also if you have missed the episodes then you can watch the episodes on the Dewarists Youtube Channel. ENJOY!! 

P.S. - All the referred websites are linked in my post so you can click on them and go check it our directly instead of searching for it.

Image courtesy: Google

The Immortals of Meluha

The Immortals of Meluha by Amish Tripathi
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Shiva Trilogy, all about how he moved on from being a regular Human to being called the GOD - 3 stars because to me it is not some great piece of literature.. but yes it is definitely a commercial page turner, one that made me turn pages as well.. what i like about the book is that it takes you back and updates your knowledge of the gods and your history. I finished this book in flat 3 days of night reading.. It is a very very simple read and therefore will engage a whole lot of readers who are not regulars and find getting into books difficult.. this book could be a good start.

I find it commendable that Amish could think of a concept like this and the fact that his writing is so easy makes it even more approachable for everyone to read his work. He has done a good job of making the book a complete page turner and i have thoroughly enjoyed it in that sense. All of us have heard gazillion stories in our childhood at least from our grandparents. I used to wait for vacations so i could hear stories and all that my grandparents did was tell us stories from Mahabharat, Ramayana, and the stories of all other gods. The fact that Amish made that his strength and came out with this is amazing.

My only put offs were the interaction between Sati and Shiva.. That sometimes seems downright corny.. Also the language of the book is extremely today and so having been used to expecting a certain kind of tone and manner from the gods.. :) it's a little weird to read stuff like 'yeah right' and 'for god's sake man' along with 'lord and highness'.. it just sounded a bit confusing in my head at least because i kept going in and out of time while reading this book. But that's just my personal opinion.Maybe the fact that history has been fictionalised and written in today's language has also therefore helped this book become the success that it has.

I have already moved on to the second part now - SECRET of the NAGAS and the fact remains that the first book leaves you wanting to know more.. I was lucky enough to start the first book once the second was already out but now even for me the third book would be quiet a wait as i know that the book will end in a way that would leave me waiting.


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Jaane Bhi do Yaaro - Jai Arjun Singh

Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro by Jai Arjun Singh
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It was one of the few non fiction books which i could not put down. I thoroughly enjoyed this one. I had been following Jai Arjun's blog for a while now since he reviews a lot about books and movies and some very interesting stuff. That's how i got to know that he was now writing his own book and to start with it was a very interesting concept of covering the background of an entire film. the history of the film, cast crew how it got to be made and finally where everyone related to the movie along with the movie itself stands today.

Jaane bhi do Yaaro is a historical movie in it's own right in the Indian film industry and while it always remained one of the most loved and funny movies for me to go back to, the thought of knowing about it was even more exciting as the star cast of the film (stars now cast then) is superb. All of them were in the making and trust me i would recommend this book to everyone. Jai has done a fantastic job of capturing the perfect nuances of the film, it's people and his narrative throughout the book keeps you going. It's extremely enjoyable very very informative and it was one of those books that i pre - ordered, waited for and finished in 2 days thoroughly satisfied.


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Persepolis

The Complete Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Persepolis has been an enjoyable read. While i have heard a lot of the movie i still haven't watched it and on the recommendation of a friend picked up the book. It's an autobiography of the author Marjane Satrapi who is an Iranian and shares her growing up years with the readers in the first book and then her return to her country in the later years in the second book. While many would think that it is probably no great shakes as we have seen many such books written by or written about so many women from that region but what makes this book different from the rest is that the format of expression which is illustrations or comic strip style in itself is very sweet and different. Also in a very simplistic manner, i thought i could read a very honest and balanced point of view of the author of both her country and then later on Austria where she studied. Her exposure to various mix of westernization in her country to going to being a religious fundamentalist country to her moving out of the country and getting exposed to western culture yet again. All the mixed and the genuine reactions or agonies or surprises that we all go through our growing up years.

The fact that it is illustrated makes it an extremely fast and smooth read and also breaks the monotony of reading heavy handed autobiographies. Instead here is a very simplistic way of expressing and also informing the world about Iran from an insiders perspective who has seen both the worlds.

The next step is to watch the movie as well.


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History - Salman - How?

Not sure if many of you have seen the new channel History Network 18. It's the latest comedy channel according to me.

The Brand Ambassador is Salman Khan for a channel called History - First disconnect, what does intellect have to do with Salman Khan i think. Wait till you see the promo's running on the channel. It's Bizarre. One of the promo's - A chinese martial arts expert going at it with a sword, cut to Salman khan sits there watches him and goes 'kya hai ye? .. phu pha phi phun. Bore nahi hue ye sab dekh ke. Ab dekho History channel. History Channel. Roz History bante dekho'. I mean what are we talking about? Sounds like a channel started by the Guinness book of World Record guys. The fun doesn't end there. Watch the programming carefully and you will notice the same old Starworld, Zee Studio, FX, Big CBS kind of content. greatest american video kind of stuff. Then there is this programme where in all that the guy does is take a chainsaw and cuts anything and everything, tree trunk to tv to fridge to everything. It's mindless. What does all this have to do anything with knowing or making History and why would you go around making a marketing strategy that has no head or tail to it.

The TV Industry is losing it. Marketeers are doing anything to just launch channels, play the same old content so if it's friends or Rules of engagement or many such programmes, you would see each of these series would be playing on all of these English entertainment channels. There are Gazillion music channels and i am not complaining because more channels, the more chances we have of bumping into something sensible on television. But where does this new History channel stand. It absolutely makes no sense. The Channel strategy, what it stands for, the brand ambassador to the content of that channel, none of it remotely cross each others path anywhere. Is everyone just running the rat race of launching channels and struggling to buy a pie of the already disparate and distributed eye balls. When the market is already so cluttered in the Television industry what on earth would you be even thinking to come up with a channel like History and expect anything? Maybe if they dubbed all of their content and had Salman as their brand ambassador then the Bodyguard Janta might find it interesting as these are not content they tend to watch similar to how Hollywood movies are dubbed and released in India and find considerable viewership as well. But that's about it. Hope they are not possibly  thinking of standing up against a Discovery, Nat Geo or Fox History and Traveler with such a channel and if they are then God save them is all i have to say.

The Gods must be going Crazyy!!

Oh ! what a mayhem on the roads of Mumbai. Yet again another festival and there, the whole world has left their homes and have come on the road.

Makes me wonder all the noise, all the indiscipline, all the eve - teasing, the Holi played in the name of Durga Puja and Navrati, garba happening in front of Goddess Durga's procession are we confused or what? Where is this country going in the name of religion and festival? why does the decibel level not matter to those same people who have a problem with youngsters throwing a party in their homes and playing loud music or a concert in the city with deadlines of 10pm? Aren't we being too convenient and choosing what is right and what is wrong otherwise but in the name of religion everything seems to suddenly be okay.

It's appalling to see rowdy young boys eve - teasing women on the road while they are on their respective trucks or on foot going to immerse the deity. Drinking and throwing alcohol bottles on the road, littering the city, dancing on bollywood songs that has got absolutely nothing to do with god or spirituality. For heavens sake a procession i passed today had people dancing on 'Saat Samundar par main tere peeche peeche aa gayi' and what happened after that song was even more shocking. The song changes into 'Nayak nahi khalnayak hun mein' and everybody sings along and cheers the song change. I mean really? Khalnayak? aren't we talking about a day when the good claimed it's victory over the evil and here we are dancing on this and claiming we are Khalnayak's? With every year i see people more and more confused about the purpose of celebrating these festivals and it just becomes a time of song, dance, drinking and family entertainment. The majority of the middle class, lower middle class and the poverty stricken population of this country with the onslaught of television and movies has suddenly gotten exposed to cultures alien from theirs (not that the saas bahu serials are helping them any better to learn better about their own). People come to the big city with dreams and get exposed to an already confused culture and they do not know how and where do they figure their customs and cultures in the midst of all this confusion. The result is they join the confusion.

I don't know how this will change i see only deterioration, no improvement in the future as well. The only way out i think is somehow educating these youngsters who have lost touch with the original idea of these celebrations but only have carried on the fervor of celebrating without any purpose. We some where need to hold on to customs and cultures and learn all the right things they were supposed to teach and i know it's an uphill task because it's easier to have an opinion like i have right now but how much can i add to that change? Well i am open to discussions and conversations with people and the only way i admit till now if at all i have added is through trying to question people and then engaging them in a hopefully fruitful argument.  All i can do is try and create some perspective in someones mind then it's on the person to want to agree or disagree.

Education to me is the key to keeping true to ourselves and our roots, not the kind of education that teaches you just to 'Mug' as we would call it or 'Ratofy' concepts and vomit in exam papers but an education that would make us want to question everything we see, read or learn to be only able to understand and or better it and broaden our horizon further.