Book Review: Love, Peace and Happiness: What more can you want?

Love, Peace and Happiness: What more can you want? by Rituraj Verma
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book has been a welcome surprise. I received this book from the author Rituraj for a review and hence got a chance to read it. The cover is nice and bright, the title of the book seemed very flat to me and so i was a little apprehensive of what would come my way. The book apart from the cover has a very text book quality of printing. Also the author's introduction seems too contrived and typical - IIT, MBA types who dabble into writing but The Forward by Smriti Verma - Author's wife i think perfectly sets the tone of the book and gets you right into it.

This book is a collection of 9 short stories touching various personality types, relationships but the sense i got over all was that it dealt with today's Urban population, the trials and tribulations they go through, the race and chase for success and material achievement but somewhere lost in the madness and continuously trying to understand where they stand as people in life, in relationships. The Intolerance, the impatience and the constant search. While the urban population always seems to be in the right place trying to achieve the right things but do they really? That's where the Love, Peace and Happiness struggle comes out of.

The author mentions that there will be stories which might sound like your own or someone else's you know and i would agree to him to some extent as there are moments, situations that most of us would definitely relate to at some level. The language is simple and everyday and Rituraj has weaved in a lot of technology in his stories like facebook, smartphones, etc which give the characters a very today feel.

My favourite story has to be A HIGH, LIKE HEAVEN. It's the first story in the book and it's about a relatively newly married couple, a journey they undertake that unravels their true selves to each other, and though for some it might be a sad ending but to me was a perfect one.Apart from that my other favourites were THE PRACTITIONER OF AUSTERITY, THE INTIMACY OF SPACE and THE VICTIM OF MANY LOVES. The best part of this book is that none of the characters are perfect and that makes the stories and its characters so every day and real.

Also an interesting first time with this book would have to be the alternate endings bit, one that pleases everyone. For me, i liked the endings of all the stories as is and didn't really like any of the alternate endings because most of them seemed a bit forced, just to come up with optional endings. But for those who didn't like the endings The author also gives you an option of suggesting an alternate ending to the stories on his website (http://www.riturajverma.com/) and if the ending is liked then it will be printed in the next print run with acknowledgements. It's an interesting way to hook people on.

This book is a good first attempt and barring few issues about the writing which at times does really seem forced and contrived, i do feel it's one of the better work compared to a lot of trash that gets published these days. This would definitely be on my recommendation list.

The Job Interview Circus

So i have been through a few of those interviews in my 5 year career in advertising. There are various kinds of smart(ass) people you will meet in these interviews - It's amazing how taking interview is as much about skills as is your job itself. And many take this so seriously that it becomes like an exam rather than a conversation. In most cases the result of these examiners hiring ends up being disastrous as they are more concerned about how they come across to the interviewee rather then the interviewee having to prove any point to them.

A friend has been going through her interview rigors after a 2 year post marriage hiatus and every day conversations with her led to this post as it got me thinking about the variety of people i have met during my own course of job hunts.

Here are a few off my head -

• The strict school teacher - The kinds who think the only way to take interviews is by being a strict no nonsense kind of person. Straight face, no smiles and lets begin with tell me something about you. And once you start rattling like a school child they start counter questioning you about your own self like they know you better than you do yourself. But don't you think? But why would you? The questions always start with a BUT. You are so tired by the end of it after fielding all the buts and if's that you just want the bell to ring so you can run out of the class. The pressure test they say it is, but is it, i wonder how the real work life has got anything to do with making people feel nervous. and how many such pressures would actually pop up in your face while working. Yes, though it might be a warning bell clearly stating what lies ahead of the interviewee, a working style that would entail questioning as the operative word in future and not solution providing.

• The intimidating personality type  - The one who walks into the room thinking i need this person to shit in his pants the moment he sees me. I need to come across as THE boss, the supreme power who knows it all and that he cannot fool me. Now the lighter side of the story with this person is that, many a times they don't really know where they stand maybe and they think the best way to get the other person to start on a back foot is by looking intimidating. Asking questions which you do not know answers to yourself but how will this inexperienced fellow know? Setting the rules at the outset so one knows that one is dealing with a big EGO here and should be careful about what comes out of their mouth.

• The conversationalist - far and few are such people found, but those are the ones to look forward to. At the outset giving you a clear indication about chatting and not questioning. Could relax you to open up. Be honest with your experience, hopes and aspirations. About what you could bring to the table and what you would expect the interviewer to bring to the table in future. Be who you are and therefore probably give a clearer indication of what you would be like at work as the pretense that one as to put in order to be a certain kind to be liked rather than be himself or herself and be liked can  create the wrong perceptions and judgments in either parties. The future in most cases then turns bleak as what you expect is not what you get finally. A conversationalist can chat, and understand what the person is like and therefore be better able to judge capabilities, experience and knowledge.

I have met more number of first two types than the last ones. But the last ones have been the more lasting mentors. Each experience does teach you to hone your skills as you cannot choose who you shall meet. But obviously do wish that every boss out there would get the simple logic of friendly conversations over me against you conversations as that is bound to have a sure shot enemy even before you have begun unless you strike lucky. Unfortunately it trickles top downwards and so most juniors learn these interviewing skills by watching their bosses. There is a better team formed when the entire team knows that they can all fall back on each other without thinking twice and that comes with the confidence imbibed in the team by the senior leaders. The starting point to all of that is the job interview itself.

Do add your own list of people and experiences if any beyond my own set of typecast :) it would be fun to know.

Image Courtesy: Google 

The Olympic Mania 2012

Has it gripped me or what? days on end i have been watching Olympics on TV. The passion that these sports stars have is infectious. The passion with which they fight to get their medals and represent the country is amazing. Having been a Badminton player in the past, the game had me hooked till it got over yesterday.. The Chinese domination in the game, the determination the Chinese have, just makes the sport so enjoyable. Every final was every bit worth watching. Nail biting end to the finale in all categories of badminton. Swimming, Tennis, Athletics - Usain Bolt, Yohan Blake what a 100 mt finale that was. Thanks to Indian shooters reaching the finals happened to watch that as well. All in all it has been a welcome change from the cricketing national obsession to watch other sports and watch people from all over the world wildly trying to create a place for themselves in history.

Indians this time have done decently well, whatever little there has been. I wouldn't want to be sarcastic about our performance. Yes it is a little shameful that being the second most populated country in the world we can count our medals down to 3 as of now and most of it in the lower side of the colour palette. But having said that, it's also to be noted that with the non existent government funding of sportsman in this country and with minimal training facilities, it is only the passion of these few sports men and women that would have taken them where they have. We have a long way to go before we become China or USA, with hoards and hoards of good quality sportsman participating in the Olympics and them having that much passion for representing the country. The passion that flows out from us during a IND vs PAK match is what  needs to flow out of us for many other sports as well. Instead of suddenly realizing the existence of these sportsmen who do well and exerting excessive expectations on them hence forth, maybe we should realise that we have to only help hone their skills further and ensure proper training for them so that they can live up to our expectations going forward.

In such difficult and unsupportive circumstances we should laud our sportsman who have managed to at least reach somewhere and get our countries name somewhere and hope that our corrupt nation realises the strength of such a large population and what these sportsman can do to place our country on the global map.

Circle of life

We come, we go,
We stay, we don't,
We love, we hate,
We cherish, we forget,
Time, there is and then there
is none.
So slow, so fast,
So now, so never,
Look back, look ahead,
Maybe sometimes, maybe forever.
You wish for no change,
You wish that much more for change.
You hope for better days than today,
Today becomes your best day.
You miss everything and everything misses you,
You miss nothing and nothing misses you.
Such is the Circle of Life.
You try to keep pace with it,
It tries to keep pace with you.

Lucknow Boy: A Memoir by Vinod Mehta

Lucknow Boy: A Memoir by Vinod Mehta
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A very readable book. I picked it up after reading many a reviews. I have not really been an Outlook reader and so was not very aware of Vinod Mehta and his style of journalism. This book got me hooked from page 1. The good thing about the book is that it is a very easy read. it's not full of jargon and Vinod Mehta doesn't come across as self righteous and self appreciative, at least not overtly.


The initial years he recounts about Lucknow, family and his student days are quiet interesting and fun to read. once he starts working, i think the book skews more towards opening many a secrets about people he has interacted with professionally. Then it starts sounding like a gossip column, nonetheless quiet informative. halfway through i felt, it was not a memoir anymore as there was nothing much personal other than professional events and professional encounters that he narrates. He moves from Mumbai to Delhi from His Debonair days to Pioneer and Outlook. He seems more human or maybe on second thoughts, he is a very good journalist who knows exactly how to get people to accept his point of view without hating him.


While the book has lots of anecdotes to offer, the one thing that kept gnawing me, particularly when i was reading his time with Outlook days was his anti BJP and pro congress stand. While he justifies it by saying that even though people call him Sonia sucker, as a journalist you can't hate every politician. That's in order to stay sane. Hence Sonia Gandhi and Congress are his obvious choice. Where i think its a biased layout is when all his anecdotes and stories throughout his Outlook and Delhi experience are pretty much about the NDA government. Considering he is a dinosaur in the Journalism business and has seen decades of politically upheaval, he chooses to comment only on the the few initial years of the Nehru government and straight out to the NDA government. That to me is a little short cited for a memoir of a journalist. Also the entire account about the Income Tax raids on Raheja, his proprietor for Outlook is a bit too good to be true. Raheja being an owner of such a big business empire seems to be pure as honey and seems to have absolutely no illegal income. Which to me seems a little far fetched for a business house that size.


so my final verdict by the time i finished the book was take this man with a pinch of salt. He obviously does not tell all the truth and chooses which one to. But whatever little he does tell is worth reading as it does give you some perspective about people and events.


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The Indian Honeymoon Abroad

Honeymoon for the new Indian marrying kinds have become an equally pressurizing prospect. Along with marriage now they also have the honeymoon to add to their ever increasing fears and budgets. Marriages are decided basis how much money there is to go for their honeymoon. 

The reason why I point this is out because there is an increasing pressure on couples today specially the urban youth to go abroad in their honeymoon. If you don't go abroad then people judge you in every way from your financial status to how uncool you could be because you didn't go abroad. It's become a given and so the couples also don't think beyond as honeymoon has started being defined as a trip abroad. Not sure where and when this pressure actually started popping in but now it seems like a very given trend. Tourism ads now target people with honeymoon travelling. While i have nothing against going abroad for your honeymoon but i do have a problem with the increasing mindset of honeymoon being equated with only travelling abroad. There are so many places in India that one can visit and have a superb trip but we seem to be undermining the capabilities of our very diverse country with being able to provide any form of respite to the honeymooning couples.

I remember when i was getting married people would ask me where am I going for honeymoon and when i would say North East India - the reactions would vary from WOW! that's different to why the hell would you travel within India? Honeymoon is your one chance to go abroad. It would amaze me, both the reactions. Why is it so difficult to think you can travel within the country and still have a great honeymoon. More than that why is it even wow and different? when did it become a given norm that you had to travel abroad. 

While we were also one of the couples who were under tremendous pressure of wanting to figure out a destination abroad, finally thanks to our parents suggestion decided on going to the North East. For me it was a nostalgia trip down childhood memory lane and for Russell it was a great experience in the pristine beauty of north east which he would have never taken out the time for otherwise. Meghalaya, Assam and Arunachal - a 15 day trip through mountains, jungles, snow, rain, winters - it was every bit worth it. And it also gave me an opportunity to show my husband where i grew up and get him face to face with every childhood memory of mine.

Our idea of honeymoon should be to create memories which will last us a lifetime, do things which would not please the world but would please us and maybe sometimes be a little different from the typical and run of the mill. After all its our honeymoon and not the world's honeymoon. 

Mixed marriages - the rising trend

This generation is increasingly opening up to mixed marriages parents including. Every second friend that i have is making their own choices about their partners and in 8 out of 10 cases it is people people from two different backgrounds coming together. While its not a new trend but i do feel the trend is getting an increasing acceptance.

There are more and more women working and going beyond the confines of just education and their houses therefore the chances of a couple meeting through friends, at work is a lot higher today than earlier. While there is an equal amount of arranged marriages still happening but even that has changed its basic face. My parents got married after proposals between families were exchanged and they had never even met each other till they got married. Nothing surprising i would say for their time but today even arranged marriages have become more of a way of getting help in finding a partner rather than the age old trend of families fixing up the marriage. Couples meet each other through family and then they do have a courtship period before they plunge into marriage. Also there is an increasing trend of mixed marriages even when they are arranged thanks to the various websites like Bharat matrimony, etc where parents are now looking more and more for suitable partners rather than base the decision on pure caste, creed, religion, etc.

These marriages do come with their bit of excitements and problems. Parents do go through their rigors of doubt and issues initially, most do come around and accept none the less. For others its a little long winding the whole convincing parents round. Mixed marriages brings the newness in a couples life where in they have a lot to explore from a different culture, region and sometimes even religion. While this is exciting it can also get taxing sometimes because two people from such different backgrounds do take time to adjust to the complete newness in everything from exploring new languages, food habits, lifestyle, culture and more.

Mixed marriages can also bring about a mixture of added expenditure or none. While some have double fold expenses because both the families would expect them to get married in 10 different ways in 10 different places. Some like me go through the quicker route of a simple court marriage (which by the way also helps you avoid the gazillion rituals, they actually make you question as to why are you even getting married in the first place to go through this torture). These marriages are increasingly opening the door for the next generation who would hopefully be brought up with a broader mind set and therefore be more tolerant.

A good mix of happiness and confusion.